Monday, April 14, 2014

Bitchin' Bigger

Sometimes, I wish I was as a big of a bitch as the little voice inside my head is.
It's true. I do. But I was raised to believe that good people are the kind of people you strive to be. Granted, I'm not really that good either...

Things I've almost said:

"It's not you... Well, actually, yeah it is. I just don't like you anymore."
Oh wait... I did say that one.

"Consider me not coming over as a favor to you. See, what you don't seem to understand is you're too innocent for me, and I'm too much of a freak in bed for you. Besides, an hour's drive just to go see you?"

"I'm not sucking your dick. You can smell it from across the room, like, really? Wash that shit."

"You think I'm laughing at your joke. Actually, I'm just laughing at the fact that you actually think that's funny."

"It's cute how you keep trying to argue with me. It's almost like you think I would actually want to waste my time on trying to explain to you how you're a complete idiot."

"That baby is not what made you fat. Besides, it popped out of you like five years ago."

"Insult me all you want. You're going home alone tonight, but your brother made sure to it that I wouldn't be."

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Jess' Little House Of Pain and Pleasure

"Excuse me. You, there, reading this. Do you understand what you're getting yourself into?

"No, I don't think you do. You are allowing yourself to be lulled in to this world of sex and violence and things that make no sense. I would like to introduce you to my assistant, Azeala. Azeala is very good at what she does, but on occasion goes a little overboard.

"But I promise you, you will enjoy it.

"This is a world where men are turned into sex slaves. Not only do these men want it, they need it. They need to be punished and...

"Azeala.  AZEALA!  Stop it!! In order to maintain this business, we need our customers to be alive.. Oh god, not another one... Chloe, get the car and open up the trunk, I'll grab the mop..."

Excuse us. We seem to be having some... technical... difficulties. Shop will be closed until we... clean up... Stay tuned and we will keep you informed on when the shop re-opens. Thank you for your patience. Or lack of. We love it when you get feisty ;)

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Drugs and Mindless Thoughts

This was actually written at the time of a blog I had written called "Drugs are Like..."
This blog was supposed to be the rebuttal of that blog. It would've been more effective if I had posted it.
But apparently I hadn't. I never finished editing it, and clarifying it. I won't bother doing any of that 'til the end, so be aware that this piece is raw. When I had mentioned that drugs are like drop crotch pants (which I still think is kind of a funny comparison, cause that just sounds funny when you say it out loud), what I should have clarified was that it may look hideous, but it has a specific job it gets done.

Yesterday arose the question of drugs and intelligence.  Now, I am no advocate of drug use by any means, but there is something to the trend of great people and drug use that is undeniable.  Even Thomas Edison is no exception to this.

There were a few people who argued that drugs do not help in your cognitive intelligence.  Uuuhhh......

To any kid who thinks chemicals has nothing to do with your brain, you need to get your dumbass in a psychology class.

Just to clarify on how drugs work, you already, naturally, have those chemicals in your system.  The catch is that those drugs give you more.  They emphasize what is already there.  Did you read that correctly?  WHAT IS ALREADY THERE.  How do you justify that psychedelics cannot be of help (if done properly) when they have a direct connection with the brain?

The only proof that there is a mind is the effects of it.  This can be further examined with big brain gadgets that show what activity is going on up there.  If you're happy and you know it, your brain will surely show it!!

As far as the productivity that has occurred while people have been on the drugs, there is more than enough evidence and testimonies to prove that had those people not been actively imaginative and done drugs, life would NOT be as we know it today:  convenient.

Now, I could go into this big, detailed, super-terminology-defined explanation of why my opinion of this kid is that he is quite narrow-sighted and uninformed, but that's not the point.

The point I'm making is this:  Just because someone has a know-it-all, stuck up, arrogant, supercilious attitude, does not mean that they, in fact, know it all.

Neither of these blogs were ever meant to clarify my personal views on drugs, and I realize some of you take what I say more seriously than I do, myself. So, for those intellects out there who actually truly care about my perspective, I'll get serious with you for a moment.

Drugs have always had a purpose. Nowadays, medicinal drugs are most popularly, socially accepted. I am, personally, a skeptic of those. Proceed with caution; they can be an amazing tool, just as quickly as they can be the problem instead of the solution. Just because recreational psychedelics aren't so much accepted socially anymore, doesn't mean they don't and have never served a purpose. Native Americans had to get their visions from somewhere. Sure artist and musicians are infamous users, but what about Francis Crick's DNA structure? Or Kary Mullis and the PCR? And the saying, "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX" is around for a reason. To clarify my true stance on drugs: I am neither a proponent nor opponent of drug use, legal or illegal, medicinal or otherwise. 

To me, druggies or junkies or whatever else you like to call them come in different sizes and colors and perspectives. A lot of the times, you may not even realize you are talking to one. The only time drugs can possibly define a person is if he or she allows it to. In the same aspect, things like religion, style, hobbies, and friends can all define someone ONLY if he or she allows it.

I honestly don't judge people because they do drugs. I judge people who do drugs because I judge everyone. We all do, because if we didn't, we would be susceptible to everything. Drug use shouldn't be something to be ashamed of, and it shouldn't be something that people have to hide; but, it is. Society shunned out recreational drug use years ago. Drugs have drawbacks, but they have their uses. Everything does. People should be allowed to do to their bodies as they wish, rationally.

I feel like there needs to be a conclusion, but fuck it.

OH! And PS. I would like to quote this spray paint I saw on the train tracks years ago. It's one of my favorite quotes *EVER*.
"Don't drink and drive. Smoke and fly."


Sunday, March 30, 2014

First Impressions: Do You Think It'll Last?

I'm not a nudist or anything, but one thing is for certain: When I'm at my place, I'm alone, and I just get out of the shower, I like to walk around and air dry. I go to the kitchen, make some dinner, sit in from the laptop and do my homework, lounge in front of the tv--whatever. I like to air dry.

The best part about my roommate this semester is she's never here. I get to walk around naked all the time. That book titled "The Naked Roommate," yeah, that's me. In fact, right now, all I have on is a head towel wrap for my dripping wet hair.

I also have the tendency to be forgetful at times. Typically, at the worst of times.

So right after my shower, I burst through my bedroom door, into the living room where three sets of eyes looked up at me. Well, I've never been notorious for my first impressions, but I'm sure that's changing now!

Two of my roommate's friends (whom I'd never seen before that moment) sat next to my roommate, all of whom were staring at me, frozen.

Hey, damage was already done, right? They'd already seen everything, so I figured it didn't matter. I walked over to the counter, made my sandwich, fixed a tea, and strutted back into my bedroom where I finished my dining watching The Square Peg.

But, I guess it's about time to put some clothes on.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Problems Of A Skinny Bitch, Pt 1

I swear, in a past live, I was a big motherfucker. I have the exact amount of ONE. Count that. 1. Tattoo. Reason? I think of this awesome design, get all excited about it, then go to figure out where I'll put this design... and then look in the mirror and think "How the hell do I fit something like that on this??"

I'm a little person with a big statement. 5'3" and 110 pounds don't give me enough canvas to work with, here!

Big dog is all like "Look at my ink, little guy! Combine it all together, and it weighs more than you do, HA!"

Monday, February 17, 2014


Absolutely lame. I put some random movie on that I've NEVER watched or even heard of for background noise and take out my guitar and start playing. I play some blues chords, and next thing I know, the movie is playing a blues song! I'm like, ok, so I start strumming a scale and playing a slow, melodic song. Yeah, that's right, a minute later, the FREAKING MOVIE IS COPYING ME. Ugh. Lame. It's like having a little sister around.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Have A Happy Fucking Life!

Happy belated Valentine's Day, everyone! Yesterday I was actually talking to an ex. Over text. He was getting all emotional and everything, and I just always felt like those emotional people lived for drama, so they feed off drama, which means not giving it to them would be like taking a fish out of water, right? Fortunately, I was watching the show Greek at the time where Cappi and Casey are dramatically arguing for a good few episodes, and I'm like PERFECT! So half the shit I wrote to him were really just quotes from the show.

Nonetheless, it seemed to work pretty well. His messages kept getting longer, and the show kept getting better, but real life doesn't work out like the show, or else we would have ended up sleeping together.

I guess at one point he decided the conversation was coming to an end, so at the end of his statement, he wrote "have a happy fucking life!"

Well, I thought that was great. We were finally getting over the over-dramatic, immature hump and can finally be friends and be open with each other. And what a great thing for him to say to open that up.

I write back "thank you. Actually, my fucking-life has been pretty decent lately. Nobody new, but there is that one guy from my past. And who knows, maybe it'll be looking better in the next few months with this new semester having started."

Miscommunication can be a terrible and embarrassing incident. He writes back, and to summarize the novel he sent, he told me I was going to die alone at the rate I'm going.

In my opinion, I would rather die alone. After all, if you don't, that means you're going to have to have multiple funerals. I feel like sharing your funeral with someone would be like sharing your birthday with someone. You want it to be all about you...

Anyways, getting off track here. I would like to end this post by stating Have A Good Fucking-Life, Everyone!